


Better Now

by Sugasluv (Sf9fanfic)



Category: BLACKPINK, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: F/M, Fanfic, Fluff, Jennie Kim - Freeform, Loneliness, Loss, Min Yoongi - Freeform, Shyness, YoongixJennie, Young Love, bittersweet romance, blackpink - Freeform, bts - Freeform, btsfanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-05 04:31:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 13,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17318132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sf9fanfic/pseuds/Sugasluv
Summary: "With a heart full of pain there was no room for anyone else. I was lost in my own head till one day I found you and a love I thought could never exist. My hand reached out to you and you saved me."Edited 8/11/19  Comments 4, Kudos 2, Views 104





	1. For You I'd Catch the Stars

  


Most mornings, Jennie could be found in the library with her nose in a book only stopping when the bell rang signaling the beginning of the school day. She preferred her own company and kept to herself most of the time. She couldn't help wanting to avoid the drone of the teacher's dull and tedious lesson. Who wouldn't? Her mind would rather wander through time and space usually influenced by one of her current reads. She found solace in the peaceful library where she was able to enjoy her music and lose herself in a book. 

Lately, she had been devouring historical novels and had moved on to Regency romances, consequently listening to the music of that period. Lisa, her best friend, found it weird but Jennie didn't see anything wrong with it. (◠‿◠✿)

When she invited her best friend over for afternoon tea laid out in the back garden with white linens and little tea cakes made by Jennie, Lisa thought her friend had finally lost her mind. Although it painted a beautiful picture it wasn't typical for a girl in her teens but Lisa had a plan. Jennie needed to fall in love. (◕ ﺮ ◕✿)

♡*♥*♡*♥*♡

The next day Lisa found her exactly as she pictured, with her cute little face staring at a page. "You need to get your head out of that book! Look around at all the hot guys in real life," Lisa offered, pulling the book down for her to see. (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

.· '𝔩𝔢𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔟𝔢 love☆'¨━━✫・*︵¸.·*¨︵¸.·'‿¸.·'*‿¸.·'*︵ ¸.·'*‿ ¸.·'* ︵¸.·'* *¨

Low and behold that did the trick! As Jennie looked up and laid her eyes on the most dashing rake of the ton. Wait no, more like the cutest guy in school. He passed by without even noticing her, but that didn't stop her from falling for him. From that day on, her eyes searched for him and consequently, the heroes and rakes in her books mysteriously looked like him. 

♡*♥*♡

♡*♥*♡ The handsome fella's name was Kim Taehyung. He was no rake or hero but not the typical teenager either. Much like Jennie, the independent Tae was ever mindful of his thoughts and dreams, making it difficult to concentrate in class. With a mind that never stops, his curiosity about everything made him either a great listener or the worst kind whose mind would wander when the subject became too boring, and his quick mind was off to the next thing. 

Jennie finally met Tae in her second year of high school after having a secret crush on him forever. She had fallen hard for his natural charm, and the shy way he would look at her whenever their eyes met in the busy halls of their school. Jennie always looked forward to catching his gaze as they changed classes and hoped one day he would have the nerve to talk to her. 

She was shy herself, so there was no way she would make the first move. In fact, she nearly died of mortification one day when her best friend, Lisa offered to help by telling him that Jennie liked him. When her friend started walking towards the unsuspecting fellow, Jennie ran in the opposite direction through the crowded halls. Hearing Lisa's loud voice yelling, "Jennie, come back!" just make her run faster.

♡*♥*♡

When she met Lisa after school, she threatened to unfriend her if she exposed her secret. So things continued much as they did before with longing stares and wishful thinking. Jennie liked it that way. Her fantasy of Tae was probably better than the real thing. Right? She consoled her self for being too scared to confront him. 

The next day was even more tortuous than usual since Jennie thought he must have noticed her embarrassment. She even considered walking a different way to class so she didn't have to see him. But there he was suddenly in sight walking next to another cute boy and poking the poor boy in the ribs as he saw her approaching. That day, said boy, being sick of being poked, pushed Tae in her direction making them bump hard into each other, finally forcing them to speak. Tae immediately turned crimson at the awkward meeting. Being as they were both shy with the opposite sex, the conversation was not very long.

"I'm so sorry." He blurted reaching out to steady her. 

Ahh, his voice is so velvety and beautiful, she thought. "You owe me." She said, which didn't make any sense, turning red when the words escaped her mouth. It only made sense to her that she had been waiting forever for him to talk to her.

"Excuse me?" He said giving her all his attention. His curiosity about this beautiful girl ignited even more by her strange response. He wanted to know what she meant and everything about her. Casting his gaze on her cute blushing face, she was the most charming creature he had ever laid eyes on.

"You owe me ... for stepping on my foot. That's what I meant. Can you meet me after school by the flagpole? There is something I would like you to do for me."

"....Oh, um, okay." Tae smiled going along with her request. "My name is Taehyung."

"Don't worry. It's not too bad. I promise. By the way, I'm Jennie." Jennie ran away leaving Tae mystified but with a silly grin on his face staring longingly at her retreating figure. ♡ (ʘ ꒳ ʘ)

  


Tae patiently waited by the flagpole in front of the school for her approach. As she walked towards him, it was as if time slowed down. He got a funny feeling in his stomach which reminded him to suck it in and stand up straight. Nothing makes you feel more self-conscious than seeing your crush heading towards you. He was really excited but also really afraid he would say something stupid.

"Hi, Tae, thanks for coming," she said more confidently than she was feeling.

"Hi, so what is it you wanted."

"Well, my service club is having a treasure hunt and ..." Jennie was embarrassed, now that she had to tell him.

"What is it?"

"Well you see, one of the items we need to find is a hot guy. Soooo, can you accompany me to the meeting? It will only take a few minutes. We have to be the first ones there."

Tae was laughing now, especially at her red cheeks.

"So, you think I'm hot?" He couldn't help smiling wider, his confidence boosted.

"Shut up! Will you do it? Pleeease!" She said hopefully trying to evade his eyes.

"Okay, okay," Tae acquiesced, boxy grin in full display as she dragged him along.

"Thank you. I'm very competitive and I know if I bring you I will be the winner!" She smiled.

After that day, Tae got the courage to tell her he liked her and they started hanging out together. From then on, they met at the same place after school and walked home together. Tae leaving his childhood friend behind for the sake of his crush. Although his friend was a little jealous, he was actually happy for him. 

It was a happy time when they were getting to know each other and it was apparent to both of them that his friend Jungkook was a hero for bringing them together. Although Jungkook didn't seem as happy about it as they were, at least he wasn't jabbed in the ribs and didn't have to hear about Jennie ad nauseam.

"Can we hang out at your house today?" Tae asked taking in her exquisite beauty. 

"I told you, we can't," Jennie pouted cutely. "My grandma will kill me if I bring a boy to my house."

"Okay then come with me. I know just the place we can be private." Unknown to them, a boy was following them at a safe distance, both curious and jealous of Tae's new relationship.

Tae pulled her hand as they reached the side gate to, of all places, Jungkook's house. They entered the shady yard with several large trees and approached the ladder leading to the abandoned childhood hideout. Tae went up first pushing the small hatch opening as fond memories flooded his thoughts of all the adventures he had there with his friend Jungkook. 

The space seemed a lot smaller than it did back then but that made it even cozier for a young couple falling in love. The old bean bag chairs were still there although faded and flat he was surprised they weren't very dirty. Gentlemanly Tae shook one into a better shape and offered it to her.

Jennie smiled, the filtered sunlight hitting her long eyelashes taking his breath away. He put another bean bag next to her and pulled her in for their first sweet kiss. He began to pull away seeing her flushed cheeks when suddenly she pressed her lips to his again. With his confidence regained, Tae finally got the nerve to ask her to be his girlfriend and Jennie was blissfully happy to say yes.

"This can be our hideout. Do you like it?" He whispered to her not wanting to break the magical spell of their first kiss.

"Yes, it's so cute. Whose house is this?" She asked him afraid of getting caught trespassing.

"Oh, this is my best friends house. Jungkook won't notice though. We haven't been up here for years."

"Shouldn't you tell him though. What if they call the cops?"

"I will if it makes you feel better."

"It would."

"I'll be right back. He's probably home."

"Ask him to come. I want to meet him."

"Okay," Tae, said as he descended.

From her vantage point, Jennie could see the clear blue sky out the little window opening and she could hear the chirping of baby birds. She got up to get a better look and found the prettiest pink flower just beyond her reach. There was only one open bud of the delicate pink blossom on the entire tree. She took out her phone to capture it. Just then a head popped up from the opening in the floor. She snapped a pic thinking that it had to be Tae. The boy's adorable pout turned to surprise as he stared at her with wide eyes.

"Hi, I'm Jen. What's your name?"

"Yoongi," came from his rosy pink lips.

 "Is this where you hang out?

Yoongi nods. 

"Want to be friends?"

He blushed and then popped his head back down out of sight. A moment passed and a hand popped out of the hatch holding the perfect little flower.  Jenny took the flower and once again he disappeared.

Jen giggled at the sweet gesture and peaked her head out the window at the retreating boy.  He looked smaller than Tae so she assumed he was a little younger than them.

She called out to him, "Yoongi! Come back," but the boy just kept going.

 

 


	2. To Love Is To Hurt

**_The rosy sky reminds me of you_ **

**_I still miss you_ **

**_and I'm sorry I was not there for you._ **

After talking to Jungkook a bit, Tae explained why he was there.  Jungkook was fine with it of course so he asked Jungkook to join them in the tree to meet Jennie.

"Hi, Jennie said.

"Jennie, this is Jungkook, my best friend.  This is his treehouse."

"Hi," the shy boy said.

"I hope you don't mind that Tae let me come up here."

"No, you guys are welcome, I never come here anymore. It's nice that you guys are here.  I hope you like it."

"Oh, it's super nice, it just needs a few things to make it cozier.  Like some pillows and blankets."

"Thanks, we can fix it up, if you guys want, " Jungkook said.

"Sure that will be fun, then we can spend lazy afternoons here. Your other friend must be the only one that uses it.  Those must be his,"  Jennie said pointing to the books.

"Who?"  They both asked.

"He said his name is Yoongi."

Tae and Jungkook looked at each other surprised.

"Yoongi was here?"  They both said in unison.

Jennie smiled. "He popped in and popped out." 

"We haven't seen him in years.  Which way did he go?"

Jennie pointed.

Tae looked at Jungkook.  "We should go after him."

"A ghost from our past."

"Don't be silly. He's not dead.  Let's go! Come on!" Tae wined.

"No, he wouldn't see us, remember?  He'll come when he's ready."

"I know but he was really hurting.  We should have been there for him.  We should have insisted."

"He doesn't want us. He doesn't want to be reminded of that day he was with us."  Jungkook said. "If he hadn't begged to stay with us he would be dead too.  He has survivors guilt."

"What happened?"  Jennie asked with wide eyes.

"His family died in a car accident.  He lost everything and we weren't there for him."  Tae looked sad.  It didn't seem like he wanted to have fun anymore. "I want to go home.  Maybe, my parents know his phone number.  They went to the funeral," Tae said.

"I'm sorry guys.  Maybe we should meet here tomorrow.  He might come back."

"Yeah, that's a good idea, Jennie."

  


Taehyung was really surprised that Yoongi had spoken to her.  Part of the reason they stopped being friends was that Yoongi had stopped talking.  No matter what Tae did, Yoongi had retreated into his own little world.  After his parent's accident, he couldn't bear to leave his house, so he hadn't gone back to school.  Tae supposed he had moved away but maybe he had been homeschooled.  He felt guilty for not following up on his little friend that was so vulnerable even before the accident.  Tae cried on his way home.  His conscience would not let him sleep that night but he was determined to do something about it. 


	3. Save Me From My Loneliness

Yoongi thought about the pretty girl that had surprised him.  He wanted to see her again but if he was honest with himself he was scared of her and her questions.  It was like she was a character from one of his books.  Pretty and mysterious and he couldn't wait to discover what she would do next.  All night he pondered if she was real or if his own active imagination had put her there to keep him company.  She didn't talk much, like himself, so he felt comfortable around her like a soft comfy blanket fresh out of the dryer, soothing and warm.  Yoongi wasn't ready to open up but he did want a friend desperately.  Maybe she could be the one but it was scary to let people back in after spending so much time blocking people out.  He didn't want to care cause he didn't want to get hurt.  Besides, she was probably nothing like him.  How was he going to explain to her how he had retreated from his former life to live a more gentle existence?  He spent most of his day reading and losing himself in his imagination.  He liked to draw and paint and unlike her lived without schedules or tests.  He was eccentric his aunt had said.  A free spirit.  In other words, a weirdo.

  


Yoongi was curious about his former friends and sometimes would spy on them.  They were so into their own thing that they didn't even notice him.  He was starting to believe he was a ghost or maybe just invisible.  But she had seen him.  This made him smile.  Maybe he was finally coming out of his cocoon.  Maybe he could finally have what he was missing.

Yoongi's aunt was a nice lady.  She had rearranged her whole life to take him in.  She had taken him from his familiar painful surroundings and brought him to her clean white house to live.  It was still in the same neighborhood but the new surroundings offered a calming balm to his pain.  Her house was modern and immaculate the complete opposite to her sister's house that was homey and comfortable.  His room at his aunt's house felt like a cell at a mental hospital although a nice one.  It was too plain so Yoongi tried to remedy that with his art or by bringing nature into his room by planting cuttings in many kinds of containers and jars he could find.  After all, he wanted to be a gardener or own his own flower shop. His new little garden had made him smile for once but when his aunt found it she made him throw it away cause she said it was dirty and brought bugs.  Not that she was a mean person, she just wasn't warm but she tried to be pleasant.  At least she would buy him books, Yoongi thought.  Their favorite activity was going to the bookstore browsing the shelves for literary treasures.  His aunt would always treat him to a coffee and a cookie when they were done.  It was the only unhealthy treat he was allowed.  

It's no wonder Yoongi would escape as often as he could.  During the day when people were off to work or school was the best time to explore.  He would go into people's gardens and take pictures but his favorite place to go was the woods near his home.  That is until one day a dog chased him till he couldn't run anymore and he climbed a tree like a scared kitten.  Yoongi cried feeling sorry for himself until the dog finally gave up and left him alone.  It was dark by the time he got home and his aunt had been very worried.  He promised her he would not go there again, his favorite place.  One day his solo adventures ended up at a familiar house.  He made his way to the backyard through the side gate and his eyes glowed in wonder at the magical tree house.  He had found his safe space where he could come every day and read his books and look out at the surrounding gardens.

Yoongi walked to Jungkook's house climbed the ladder to the treehouse and just as he did every day, made himself comfortable on the beanbag chairs to read.  The huge bean bag engulfed his skinny frame hiding him further from the world. After a while, Yoongi was lost in his thoughts, the book he was reading discarded on the floor.  Yoongi felt sorry for himself.  He was bored and he wished Tae and Jungkook would give him another chance.  But it was actually him that was not giving his friends a chance.

Every day he would go to their hideout and leave before the boys would get there but today Yoongi had fallen asleep.  

  


That's how Jennie found him sleeping on the pillows she had brought.  She put down the lunch bag she was carrying and sat in the bean bag across from him.  She had been released early from school so she could go to the dentist.  It would be a while till Tae could join her here as they had planned so she had brought a book to read.  As she sat there staring at the sleeping boy, she pondered why Yoongi came here. Maybe to relive the happier moments of his life.  Maybe he felt safe here.  In any case, she knew better than to bombard him with questions.  She would wait until he felt like sharing.  She simply wanted to be his friend.

When his eyes fluttered open, Jennie smiled and said, "hi, it's me, Jennie."

"I know."  He squeaked, shyly hiding his eyes with his bangs.

"How are you?"

"Fine, thank you," he mumbled.  Oh no. Yoongi thought here come the questions.

"Would you like a snack?"  She offered him the small fruit cup in one hand and a chocolate twinkie in the other.

Yoongi's eyes twinkled at the treat and he couldn't help smiling.  He felt suddenly safe and at ease with that simple gesture.  She wasn't going to question him about his life or why he was there she just wanted to be friends.  He reached out to get the chocolate treat and looked up at Jennie.  Before he could open the plastic she was already back in the chair balancing the small bowl on her leg as she plucked grapes and popped them in her mouth.  He looked at her as she continued to read her book.

Jennie stayed quiet enjoying the peaceful afternoon sharing her snacks with him."

"I see you liked the pillows I brought," she finally commented.

Yoongi simply nodded his head.

"What are you reading?"  She inquired pausing from reading her own book.  Yoongi showed her the cover but didn't elaborate and they both went back to reading.

"Tae will be here soon.  Do you want to see him?"

"No. I think I'll go home."

"He misses you."

Yoongi smiled.  "Maybe, next time. Bye Jennie."

Jennie could hear Tae and Jungkook laughing outside.  She looked out the window and saw them running around.  She made her way down the steps to join them and noticed that every step had a little flower on it.  It had to be Yoongi before he left.  He must really like flowers.  

Jennie told Taehyung about Yoongi hanging out in the treehouse. "I told him you miss him.  He seemed glad."

"Does he want to see me?"

"I think so."

"Good."

"Did he say anything to you?"

"Nothing, he's really quiet."

"You're sweet. Thanks for being so nice to my friend."

She leaned over and kissed him.

A week had passed and there was no sign of Yoongi. Jenny was starting to think he was a ghost.  She was the only one who had seen him. She missed his company though. There was something about him that made her feel calm.  At the same time, she wanted to protect him and take away his sadness.  What is it about tortured souls that make us want to heal them?  As she walked home with Tae she asked him again if he had seen him but neither of them had.  Tae kissed her and left promising to call her when he got home.  That's when she noticed something odd.  There was a flower by her doorstep but there was no flower like that in their garden. She smiled and picked it up knowing Yoongi had put it there for her.  He missed her too.

 


	4. Life Gives You Scars

Jennie was curled up in a chair her legs tucked into her chest wondering about Yoongi and how on earth did he know where she lived.  She also realized it was not going to be easy for him to see Tae.  Perhaps it was just too painful.  She shifted in the chair when Tae asked her what he should do, looking up at him Jennie thought hard about it.  

"It's so sad.  I can't imagine his grief.  I keep thinking about him, Tae.  He's been sad too long."  She glanced at the papers and pens on his desk. "I think you should write him a letter.  Tell him how you feel and how much you want him in your life again.  Yoongi is not a verbal person but he likes to read.  You might get better results if you communicate with him in a less threatening way.  Also, he loves chocolate.  You should leave him a little present.  It will be sweet. It will make him feel special."

"Thanks, I think that's a good idea.  I will work on it today.  Did Yoongi tell you where he lives?"

"No, but I think he knows where I live."

"Strange."

"Write him a note and leave it in the tree house.  He will find it there."

"I will but what if he doesn't come back?"

Tae sat down sliding next to Jennie.  He leaned over and pulled her towards him his little pout trying to cajole a kiss.  Jennie ignored him biting her finger in thought.

With a side-ways glanced she noticed his pout had turned into a frown.  Wrapping her arms around his neck she returned the little sad pout. She came closer till the noses met and then their lips. He kissed her slowly and tenderly stopping only to gaze into her eyes an expression of love on his face.  But they both felt guilty, too guilty to be happy while Yoongi sat alone in his room sad and lonely.

"I think I'll go now,"  Jennie said pulling away from her boyfriend.

"Okay, I'll walk you home."

"No, it's alright. It's still light out.  Why don't you start on the letter?"

"I will. Call me when you get home."

"Okay, bye."

  


Dear Yoongi,

You were once my best friend and I loved you more than a brother.  I want to tell you that I really miss you and I want to be back in your life.  You will always be part of fond childhood memories.

I'm really sorry I was not there for you when you needed a shoulder to cry on when life dealt you such a terrible loss.  Please don't blame yourself for living.  You are a great person and you deserve to be happy.  I'm sure your parents are glad you weren't with them and your brother.  We don't need to talk about it if you don't want to but please know that I am here for you if you do.  

I love you, 

Tae

 


	5. After the Dusk Come the Stars

Jennie left Tae's house that was not far from hers.  She thought about her new friends and it made her happy.  Lately, she didn't have the need to escape to her books as much.  Liking Tae filled her thoughts and kept the loneliness away.  This made her realize Yoongi must be very lonely and was looking for a way to have his friends back in his life.  As she thought about the troubled boy, he appeared before her.  

"Hey!"  She called out to him.  Yoongi smiled shyly and waved.

"Hi, Jennie."  He said.

"What are you doing here?  Do you live close by?"

"I was just taking a walk until sunset.   Want to join me?"

"Sure, I love watching sunsets.  I have a swing in my backyard that's perfect for it.  Want to come?"  Jennie asks offering him her hand.

He smiles, nods and takes her hand.  Jenny interwinds her fingers with his.   They walked hand in hand all the way to her house looking up at the beautiful sky.  Jennie is happy she bumped into him by chance.  When they got to the gate, she showed him the way to the backyard swing and patted the seat so he would sit next to her.  Yoongi was loving all the attention.  He was starting to really like Jennie even though he knew she liked Tae.

"Did you leave me a flower the other day?"

"Yes," he says looking down at his hands shyly.

"How did you know where I live?"

"I've seen you many times walking home.  You stare at your phone and I marvel how you don't fall."

She laughed. "It's a skill."

"What do you look at?" Yoongi wonders.

"I read books."

"Me too! On the phone?"

"Yes. Don't you?"

"No. I go to the bookstore on Fridays.  I don't need a phone. Besides, I have nobody to call."

"Well, you can always call me."  Jennie didn't know anybody that didn't have a phone but Yoongi was different, almost a hermit you might say. "Why haven't I seen you in school?"

"I take classes online."

"Oh, that's cool.  I would have preferred that too.  Classes are so long and boring but now that I have Tae, school is not as bad, I guess."

  


Yoongi stares at her as she gazes up at the sky.  She turns to look at him and finds the twinkling stars in his eyes.  The look of wonder in his eyes catches her off guard.  She stares at his beautiful orbs as he slowly comes closer till their lips meet in a sweet kiss as the sun says goodbye to this day.

She gently pushes him away.  "I'm sorry, Yoongi.  I got caught up in the moment.  I shouldn't have kissed you," she says softly.

"It's okay.  I know you wouldn't like a guy like me."

"That's not it. You are perfectly wonderful.  It's just I like Tae and he likes me."

"Right.  I know. Let's just forget it happened.  Okay?"

"Sure, I really want us to be good friends."

"Me too," he answered with a sweet smile on his face.  

They sit there enjoying the peace and silence and each other.

Her phone rang.  "Shoot, I forgot to call Tae."

"Hello."

"You forgot me," Tae says.

"No, baby it's just I saw Yoongi and we wanted to catch the sunset before it went down.  I was just going to call you."

"Oh, cool!  You're with Yoongi.  Let me talk to him."  Jennie handed the phone to Yoongi.

"It's me, Yoongi."

Tae giggles, "I know. How are you?"

"Fine."

"Good. I've missed you so much.  I wish you could come to hang out with us.  Will you come to the hideout tomorrow and we can play some board games?"

"Okay, thanks."

"Great! Bye, see you soon." Tae says.

"Bye."


	6. Unkept Promises

After school, Tae went with Jennie to Jungkook's house.  Together the three of them picked out board games they could play together.  After making some popcorn and getting some other snacks they made their way to the backyard hideaway.  Once they were ready they sat around waiting for Yoongi to come.  They joked that this might take several tries before he actually showed up. 

"Was he always this elusive?" Jennie asked.

"No, he would always play with us."  Tae sighed and then added,  "he was always here."

"He gave us piggyback rides.  Remember?" Jungkook said.

"Really?"  

"He was bigger than us."

"Our hyung was happy and silly. He called us his little pabos." Tae said.

"I miss him." Jungkook pouted.

"Me too," Tae added.

"He's not coming,"  Jungkook said disappointedly.

"He said he would,"  Tae added still hopeful.

"I think I know why he didn't come," Jennie added.

"Oh?"

"He goes to the bookstore on Fridays."

"Let's go then.  Maybe we can catch him." Tae said getting up.

"He's not a pokemon, Tae!"  Jungkook said a little jealous of not being Tae's focus.

"He might as well be.  He's so hard to pin down.  I have to find him Jungkook.  We messed up.  This is our chance to make it better."

"It hasn't been so hard for her.  She's seen him many times.  We should use her as bait." Jungkook added.  "He probably likes her."

Jennie giggled nervously thinking he's probably right.

All three of them left for the bookstore.  They weren't sure which one but Jennie being a book lover too knew just the place that would draw Yoongi in.

  


After looking around for Yoongi with no luck, they decided to browse around the quaint bookshop. The stacks of books drew them in. For Jennie, it was like a treasure hunt looking at all the books till she found the right one.  This was her favorite place to go and she often dragged her friend Lisa when she wanted a new book.  

  


They were all distracted, Jungkook looking at books on video games and Tae was caught up in a Manga so none of them noticed when Yoongi walked in.  Although they didn't see him, Yoongi saw Jennie.  So beautiful among his favorite things like in the realm of dreams she kept appearing before him.  He hid behind the stacks of books peaking at her. Indulging his eyes without being noticed.  His finger went up to his lips where they had touched hers.  Suddenly he wanted her so much it hurt.  He suddenly felt like crying. He wanted to feel her warmth next to him and explore every nuance of her mouth.  But I don't deserve her, he thought, I am a bad person.

He snuck out of the bookshop through the back door.  He did not want to see his friends.  Thankfully, he had come by himself cause his aunt had worked late and was too tired to accompany him.  A light rain was starting to fall so he quickened his steps putting the book he purchased inside his jacket. As tears left a trail down his cheeks, all he could think was, "I am a bad son, a bad brother, and a bad friend."

  


 


	7. Pandora's Box

_Love to me is seeing the stars in his eyes, and his eyes in the stars._

She placed the little-dried flower in her special box of memories where she put her favorite little trinkets, birthday cards, and letters. 

Thoughts of Yoongi danced in her head not letting her sleep.  She was so tired but she couldn't let go of the feeling his soft lips left on hers.  She indulged in the feeling knowing that the next day she had to let go and forget the sweet memory.  So she let herself indulge a little longer before she had to leave it behind.  Yoongi could only be her friend.  She would not come between two best friends.

But Pandora's box had been opened and she was not the only one that couldn't sleep that night.

Yoongi turned off the light and crawled into bed, feeling miserable and lonely.  He promised himself he would stop thinking about her.  He would try to see his old friends again.  Jennie only seemed so wonderful because he was so lonely and she had given him attention.  If he reconnected with his old friends, everything will be okay. 

That night sleep eluded him. He was too restless to sleep and desperate to see her again.  After tossing and turning in his bed, he was too warm and uncomfortable.  He walked slowly out of his room trying not to make a noise to wake his aunt.  He went out into the back garden. The dark sky and cool night air welcoming his hot and bothered skin.  He laid down on the lawn and gazed up at the stars raising his arm up as if he could touch the stars.  They seemed so bright tonight but still untouchable just like her. She was there for him to see but not touch. Some people are destined to get what they want while others like him are made to suffer.  He wanted to cry out in frustration.

His hormones raging, he went back to his room and grabbed his sketch pad.  He feverishly started sketching Jennie bringing her to life on the page.  As he perfected her lips, he bit his own remembering the feel and warmth of her lips.  He had touched her! Even if ever so briefly.  He smiled cause she looked just like he remembered. A moment later he flipped the page and started on another.

This time he drew her as an anime girl dripping with sexuality.  In each drawing, she became more sultry and exposed.  His pulse racing in his veins, he drew her nibbly and accurately.  Her lips taunting him so that he almost kissed the page.  This would be his dirty little secret.  In his mind at least, Jennie was his.  In his mind, she would not push him away and their kiss will remain a beautiful memory forever.

 


	8. A New Beginning

It was half past three on a Tuesday afternoon when I finally spotted him.  My childhood friend that I longed to see but kept avoiding me because of what happened years ago.   He looked the same as I remembered him just his old t-shirt looked a little worse for wear but on him, it looked stylish.  He hadn't noticed me yet as I quickly approached where he was sitting.  

"Yoongi," I said softly not wanting to startle him.  It came out as a whisper but it caught his attention.  

As he got up, I was afraid for a moment that he would run from me. "Yoongi," I said again.  As my eyes met his, a strong emotion welled up in me.  This time I got to tell him in person.  "I've missed you so much!"

I put my arms around him the hug feeling familiar even though I was bigger than him now. 

"Tae-Tae!"  His voice was deep like I remember and I could hear the affection in those two syllables.

With a mixture of happiness and sorrow, spasmodic sobs rose in his throat.  He couldn't speak and he couldn't let go.  Yoongi pulled himself away unable to control his tears and neither could I.

"When Jennie told me she saw you, I couldn't believe it.  I'm so glad you're really here.  Come to my house, please."

"Why don't we go to the park better?"  Yoongi said.

"Sure." Tae acquiesced. "Anything you want."

They walked side by side chatting about old times. "Remember when we used to play hide and seek in the woods?"

"Yes, one day you left me there,"  Yoongi recalled.

"We couldn't find you so we thought you had left.  Sorry."

"It's okay.  I was happy I had won and for a week you and Jungkook gave me your snacks cause you felt guilty."  Yoongi giggled.

"I really feel guilty.  For not being there for you.  I'm sorry."

"I know you tried.  I'm sorry too. I'm not a good friend."

"Yes, you are.  I totally understand why you didn't want to see us.  You chose to be with us instead of your family and now they are gone.  But how could you know that would happen?  It's not your fault, Yoongi.  We never know that when we say goodbye to someone it might be the last time we see them."

"Yes, but they begged me to come and I was mean and said I didn't want to be with them.  I said they were boring and my friends were fun."  

"I would feel guilty too but that doesn't make you a bad person.  You were a kid and wanted to play.  It's normal and I'm glad you stayed or I would have lost you for good.  I'm selfish too.  We all are."

Yoongi hugged Tae and balled his eyes out the guilty sobs shaking his chest finally allowed to escape.  He needed to hear that especially from him.

"I love you, Yoongi, let me be your brother.  Nothing can come between us."  Tae said.

Yoongi smiled at his friend that was so emotionally honest.  

"I promise.  I won't hide anymore.  I need you."

They walked back home together so Yoongi could show him where he now lives.  After Tae left, Yoongi thought of the one thing that could come between them.  He knew he had to let go of his feelings for Jennie.  But how?

 


	9. Cool Hands and Warm Cheeks

"Guess who I just saw," Tae exclaimed the minute he saw her.

"Yoongi?"  She said clasping her hands together, eyes as big as saucers.

"Yes! Finally.  We walked to the park and got to talk and I told him how I felt.  We're going to hang out soon.  I finally know where he lives.   You were right.  He lives on your block."

"Oh really?"

Yes, the little white house with the picnic table."

"I know the one.  I pass by there every day."

"We both do."

Tae was happy.  He was finally making things right with his friend and it brought him peace.  "I wish I could stay, baby but Jungkook and I are studying for our final."

"Okay, don't worry.  I have things to do.  Call me later."

Jennie sat there thinking this would be a good time to go shopping to get a present for her boyfriend.  It would be their first Christmas together and she wanted the present to be memorable but still had no idea what to get him.  Since Yoongi lives nearby, maybe he will go with me to the mall.

She grabs her purse and heads for his house hoping he'll say yes.  She feels kind of shy going there but he is her friend and friends to this, right?  She knocks softly on the door and waits.  Now that she knows this is his house she takes a better look around.  'This house is cute,' she thinks, 'just like him!'  Sure enough, a cute Yoongi in a bucket hat opens the door.

He seems surprised to see her.  "Jennie!"

"So, you haven't forgotten me."  She says with a little sass.  She feels a little awkward now that he's in front of her.  "I haven't seen you in a while.  How are you?"

"Gg-good," he stutters, "would you like to come in?"

"Sure."

"Of course I haven't forgotten you.  Why would you say that?"  He says a little worried.

"You haven't left me any flowers. Are you mad at me?" Jennie pouts cutely.

"No!"

"Ever since that day we hung out you've been avoiding me."

"I think you know why," he says shyly.

"You mean the kiss. It's no big deal. That shouldn't stop us from being friends."

Jennie looks around at the pretty room and smiles at the cute little Christmas tree by the window.  It had small silver and blue ornaments covered in glitter.   "Actually, the reason I'm here is I need to go to the mall to get some gifts and I was wondering if you would go with me."

"What about Tae?"

"I want to get his gift and besides he's studying for his finals."

"Sure.  I want to get a gift for my aunt.  Maybe you can help me.  She gave me money to by myself a phone and I want to get her something.  I'll go get my wallet."

Yoongi goes to his room feeling excited but a little disappointed in her reaction to their kiss.  'I guess it meant more to me than her.'

They headed out together walking to the bus stop. 

"What do you think I should get her?"  He asks.

"Your house is really peaceful and neat.  I think she would like a candle to enhance the soft mood, something like that."

"Good idea." He smiles.

"I want to find something for Tae.  Will you help me?"

"Sure."  Yoongi can't stop staring at her while they wait for the bus.  Jennie pulls his hat over his eyes.  

"Stop staring at me." She says giggling. "You're making me nervous."

Yoongi pulls his hat back and laughs blushing a little as he looks away.  Her sweet smile making him melt. 

"You're too cute when you're shy.  I can't stand it!" She says.

Yoongi covers his face with his hands. "Stop it."

"No, you stop it or I'm going to kiss you."  Jennie turns his chin to face her and kisses his warm cheek making Yoongi blush even more. 

When they get to the mall it's very crowded with shoppers.  They hold hands so they won't get separated and walk into an accessory and jewelry store.  Yoongi helped her pick out a bracelet for Tae. She asked Yoongi to pick the two he liked best and she bought both, one for Tae and one for Yoongi. 

"Come on let's get you a phone," Jennie says.  "Best friends need to text each other."

Yoongi was excited about his new phone.  "Will you give me your phone number and Tae's?"

"Let's go to your house.  We can put the contacts and wrap the gifts."

"Okay."  Yoongi smiled.  He hadn't been this excited about Christmas for a long time.

While Yoongi was busy wrapping his gifts, Jennie cut out a little heart from the red Christmas paper and wrote a little note on it. She tucked it under the bracelet so it rested under it. After she wrapped the box, she wrote their names with a marker.  As she finished cleaning up, Yoongi was playing with his phone.

"Okay, are you done?  Give me your number."

Yoongi put in the number and then asked her about the picture.  

"You can take a picture of the person so when they call you see their face.  Here give me your phone and I'll take a picture of myself.  Now call me and I'll store your number.  Let me take a picture of you."

"No!  I'll do it."

"Okay."

Yoongi took a bunch of selfies with his back to her.  When he was finally satisfied, he turned to find Jennie watching him blushing. 

"Th-hh-is one?" She stuttered.

Yoongi nodded and she saved the picture.  He looked really cute but that's not the reason she was blushing.  Jennie had been curious about what he was drawing and had peaked at the drawings of herself.  Thankfully, he had not noticed nor the turbulence inside her head.

 


	10. With Three Brats

Tae was walking to Jungkook's house where they planned to study, that's when he saw Jennie and Yoongi at the bus stop.  He was about to call out to them wondering where they were going when he saw Jennie kiss his friend.  By the blush on Yoongi's cheeks, he was sure Jennie had kissed him on the lips.  Tae couldn't believe she could betray him like that.  The pain knocking the air out of his lungs, he stopped in his tracks.  He sucked in the precious air that had been denied him.  He wondered how long they had been kissing behind his back.  Is that why Yoongi only saw her and avoided him?  Is that why he gives her flowers?  I thought it was Yoongi being Yoongi, but now I'm not so sure.  If she prefers him, why doesn't she just break up with me?

He gulped down the sob that those thoughts provoked and continued where he was going.  Tae tried to concentrate for Jungkook's sake but he just couldn't anymore.  He didn't want to burden him with his nagging thoughts so he told his friend he was too tired and left for his house.  He wasn't going to say anything to her, instead, he would watch them together to see if his suspicions were valid. 

After debating with himself for a while, he decided the silent treatment was silly. The moment he was alone in his room he threw himself on the bed and called her.  

"Hi, baby!" She answered quickly.

"You're in a good mood."

"I went to the mall with Yoongi and I got gifts," she said a little to happily for this liking.

"You like him a lot, don't you?"

"Yes, he's sweet and so funny.  We had fun.  I went to his house too and we made hot chocolate that was soooo good!"

Taehyung stayed quiet and Jennie wondered if he was jealous.  While Tae just pictured Yoongi kissing her in his bedroom.  The whole scenario driving him crazy.  How could shy little Yoongi be stealing his girlfriend?  Tae shook his head as if to ward off the ugly thoughts. 

"Tae, are you jealous."

"No!" He said a little too loudly.

"I don't know ... why are you so quiet?"

"I'm just tired that's all.  What did you buy?"

"I bought a present for you, Lisa, and Yoongi.  I still have to shop for my parents."

"How did you buy something for him if he was with you?"

"It was easy.  I didn't say it was for him."

"Hmm."

"Are you there?"

"To be honest, I don't like you spending so much time with him.  You don't see me going out with Lisa and kissing her!"

"What!  You saw me kiss him.  Is that what you're angry about?"

"You admit it.  You kissed him," Tae says annoyed.

"Are you really jealous of a peck on the cheek?"

"It wasn't just a peck.  I saw you!"

"You need glasses.  It was a peck.  I was just being nice to your lonely friend but if it bothers you so much I won't see him again without you."

"Okay, and he better not give you any more flowers!"

"Seriously?  

"Yes."

"By the way, he bought a phone today and I gave him your number cause I thought he was your friend."

"He is my friend.  He's like a brother to me but I'm not going to share you with him."

"Wow, you're crazy!" 

"Crazy for you.  If you end up married to him with three brats, I'll never forgive you."

Jennie laughed. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Love me."

"Okay, you big baby, goodnight."

"Goodnight.  You love me right?"

"Yes, I love you."

 

 


	11. Forbidden Love

It was the kind of day that you just wanted to sit by the window and watch it rain.  Yoongi was sad cause it seemed like his friends were avoiding him.  He wanted to believe it was because it was finals week but he was worried still.  Although he had texted Tae to meet with him again, his friend always said he was busy.  He hadn't seen Jennie either and he missed her funny and sweet personality.

Just when I think I might be happy, I always do something to mess it up.  I fell in love with my best friend's girl.  Now they are both avoiding me and I'm back to being lonely and depressed.  'It's okay,' he thought 'I'll get over it.  I want to still be Tae's friend.'  But deep down inside he knew, she may never be mine but I'll always be hers.

Whenever Yoongi was sad he would lose himself in a good book. It was Friday and time for a new one even though he had spent most of his money on Christmas gifts; a lovely candle, and holder for his aunt, a cool jacket for Tae, a manga that Jungkook mentioned he wanted and a pretty necklace for Jennie.  So with the money he had left, Yoongi went to the bookstore to get his mind off his tempting neighbor.  

On the way back from the bookstore he stopped in front of Jennie's house.  'I just want to talk to her.' He thought.  'I just need to see her smile.' He walked up to her house bravely but still thinking he might get rejected.  The minute he got to the door he got cold feet deciding to text her instead.  That way she would not have to reject him to his face. 

"Hi."

"Hi, Yoongi. What's up?"

"I'm just coming home from the bookshop so I thought I could come by and see you."

"Sure.  Come over."

"I'll be there soon."

Yoongi waited by the door a few minutes before he rang the bell, feeling silly and scared.

"Hi."  Jennie greeted and hugged Yoongi.  He took in the lovely smell of her hair and held her a bit too long.  "I'm glad you came by.  We're going ice skating today.  Want to come?"

"I don't know how but I'll try."

"Great, my friend Lisa is coming too.  I can't wait for you to meet her."

"Jennie, have you been avoiding me?"  Yoongi asked.

Jennie didn't know what to say to that straightforward question.  She was avoiding him, obviously, but she didn't want to confess why.  She couldn't tell Tae's best friend that she had feelings for him that she was trying to shut down. "No." Is all she said acting dumb.

"I've missed you."  Yoongi pulled a flower out of his jacket and handed it to her.

"Yoongi, that's sweet."  His face was so happy and innocent she didn't want to make him sad again so she took the flower.

"Can I ask why you give me flowers?"

Yoongi blushes, "because I like you."

"But I have a boyfriend you shouldn't say those things to me."

"I'm sorry," he says looking down.

"No, I'm sorry.  I kind of knew you liked me a little and I liked it so I didn't stop you.  Please don't get sad.  I don't want to come between you two.  Tae is a little jealous of our friendship."

"I understand, you can never be mine," he says sadly and gets up to leave.  He knew it was a risk telling her and he kind of wanted to get rejected so he could move on.

"Come back around 8, okay.  We can still go ice skating and you can meet my friend."

"Okay,"  Yoongi says with a sinking heart walking to the door.

Jennie's heart breaks seeing him so dejected.  She hugs him from behind and whispers, "I like you too."

Yoongi can't believe his ears.  Did she just say she likes me?  He turns around and she suddenly presses her lips to his.  Yoongi's eyes widen and they stay frozen like that for a few moments.  He wraps his arms around her and deepens the kiss.  Jennie tries to pull away but he puts his hand behind her head keeping her close as he stares into her eyes.  "I love you," he says barely audible but it registers in her heart as his warm breath tickles her lips.  She goes back to kissing him passionately. She wants him so much but she can't give in to that need.  Jennie pulls away finally as Yoongi searches her beautiful eyes. 

"Go home.  We can't do this," she says reluctantly.

Later that day they went ice skating enjoying there time as friends.  In front of the others, they pretended there was nothing between them but friendship.  Yoongi and Lisa got along well.  He smiled at Lisa as she grabbed him to stabilize herself.  Both of them squealing with fear and laughter at their terrible skating skills.  Jennie couldn't help laughing at them and good-naturedly told them they were hopeless.   

"Next time let's do something less dangerous like rock climbing," Lisa said laughing.

Yoongi chimed in, "Or maybe something safer like skydiving!"

They all laughed at their silliness.

"You two wouldn't get caught dead doing any of those things,"  Jennie laughed.

"Look who's talking.  Her idea of adventure is reading a book!  Lisa scoffed.

"Yeah, Yoongi is exactly the same.  Always lost in his head," Taehyung added.

Yoongi and Jennie looked at each other knowingly and suddenly there was a hunger in their eyes undetected by the others.

  


 


	12. Another Obstacle

That night Yoongi was happy.  Things were as they should.  He had confessed and been rejected and the world had not ended.  In fact, he had finally spent time with his friends and even made a new one, Lisa.  She was funny and cute and she seemed to enjoy his company too.  Taehyung had even asked  him, "Do you like her?"  I nodded yes but it was not in the way I liked Jennie.  When I thought of her my heart ached again and my sudden happiness was once again fleeting.  I stared up at my ceiling dreamily thinking of her, my Jennie.

How often do you find someone that makes you fall in love with them with one look?  I saw you with him but I couldn't see your face.  I was curious so when I saw Tae go down the ladder I went up to see who you were.  The last thing I expected was for you to take my picture.  You startled me and my heart nearly stopped.  Ever since that day I found you in the tree house, I have been intrigued by you.  I realized you were the pretty girl that walked by my house every day.  The one I drew on my sketchpad.  Somewhat obsessed with you.  When I got to know you, I liked you even more.  You made me feel safe yet you were as exciting and unpredictable as a heroine in one of my books.   But you did not belong to me and you never would and my friend Taehyung would hate me if he knew.  I was torn and it made me want you even more.

The next morning, Jennie headed to the library getting there extra early to finish up some homework due that day.  When she was done, Jennie just wanted to study her notes a bit before school started.  She had been lost in her thoughts about Yoongi when suddenly Lisa appeared invading her space.  

"What are you doing here so early?" She asked her friend.

"Jennie!  I had so much fun yesterday.  Who knew doing something so treacherous could bring me so much joy!"

"What do you mean?"  Jennie asked.

"Skating is treacherous.  You never know if you're going to glide like an angel or fall hard on your butt," she laughed rubbing her bottom that probably still hurt from the many falls.

"Ah," Jennie replied understanding now.

"But," she said her face lighting up, "holding on to Yoongi made it so much better! He's so cute!  Isn't he?" She squealed.

Jennie was shocked.  She was afraid that Yoongi might fall for her pretty friend but she hadn't even thought that shy Yoongi would be her type.

"Yes," she said tentatively, "but he's hardly your type."

"I have a type?  Nonsense, he's perfectly adorable and I think I'm in love!" Lisa said with a silly, love-struck grin on her face.

"Are you crazy?  You've known him for like five seconds!"

"That's how love is Jennie.  Wait a minute, are you jealous?" Lisa asked with a slight frown.

Just then the bell rang signaling it was time to go to class.  Jennie evaded the question with a cheery, "see you at lunch!"  But as she walked to class her heart was thumping in her chest and she asked herself, "Am I jealous?"

Jennie let out a long sigh.   _Oh, my gosh, I am!_  She thought.


	13. My Precious Secret

At lunch, Lisa couldn't stop talking about Yoongi and although it was Jennie's favorite subject, she couldn't help being concerned with Lisa's quick infatuation.   _What if he likes her too?_  She thought.

"Tell me all about him, please!"  Lisa asked, whining into her friend's arm.  "Does he go to our school? How come I've never seen him?"

"He doesn't.  He is homeschooled."

"Why?" Lisa asked with concern on her face.  "Does he have health problems?" 

"No, but he's very shy.  I haven't really asked him."

Lisa nodded in understanding.  "Give him my phone number, okay?  He probably won't ask so just say I want to be his friend."

Jennie just continued to eat her lunch.  By the time their break was over, Jennie caught sight of Taehyung coming into the lunch room looking for her.  She waved her arm till he saw her and came over, his smile getting wider as he got closer. 

"Hi Lisa," he said cheerily as he gazed only at Jennie.

Jennie couldn't help blushing at his sweet gaze as he leaned down to kiss her cheek. Lisa saw her chance and asked Tae about Yoongi. 

"What? Do you like him or something?"

"I do," she said her cheeks now a rosy pink.

"Tell you what, why don't we hang out again the four of us.  Then you'll know if he likes you back."

Lisa's face beamed, "yes!"

So it was settled.  After school, Lisa was going to hang out with them with the pretense of studying for their finals.

Tae was curious to see how Yoongi would react.  He was hoping Yoongi would act the same with Lisa and his blushes and flowers were not because he was in love with Jennie.  He loved his friend and truly hoped he was wrong about his suspicions.  He saw the pain in his eyes that he was half-hiding, but was the pain due to his loss or because of the love he couldn't have. So Tae called his friend and asked him to come to his house.  

"I just want you to help me review some things.  I know you are really good at math and since tomorrow is my final ..."

"Sure," Yoongi said, "what time?" 

"Can you come now?"

"Okay, see you."

There was a soft knock at the door signaling Yoongi's arrival.  Tae went to the door and greeted his friend.

"Hey Yoongi," Tae said, "Look who's here."

Yoongi glanced around the room till his eyes landed on Lisa staring at him with pink cheeks.

She looked beautiful and her direct gaze made him blush.   _Why was this beautiful girl staring at him?_  He thought.

Yoongi opened his mouth to say hello but suddenly his attention was on Jennie who was standing in front of him pulling him in.  "Yoongi, I'm glad you're here. Are you going to help us study?" She asked clutching Yoongi's hand as he looked at her adorable face.  His eyes just twinkled at the sight of her and it was not lost on Lisa or Tae.  Yoongi couldn't help but blush at her excitement.  She wanted his attention all to herself. 

"Yoongi, help me with my math first," Tae said pulling his friend away.

"Of course," Yoongi said giving Tae his attention.  They sat together on the floor eating the snacks Tae had prepared for them.  It was so nice for them to be together like this.

"I want to know how you guys met," Lisa said.

"We've known each other since we were little," Tae said, "the three of us were inseparable, Yoongi, Jungkook, and me."

Yoongi nodded but didn't elaborate.

"That's so sweet.  How did you meet Jennie?" She asked.

"At the treehouse." He said.

"Treehouse! Where?"

"Let's go see it," Tae said getting up. 

"Oh, wow, I love it!, This is so cute! Lisa exclaimed.

"Follow me," Jennie invited.

As Jennie went up the ladder, Lisa looked up, "Jennie I can see your panties."

Yoongi blushed as he looked up.  Jennie glared down at him holding down her skirt. 

"It's bigger than I thought," Lisa says looking around at the cozy space but Jennie is not paying attention.

Jennie whispered to him so Tae couldn't hear, "Is that why you always say, 'ladies first?'" Yoongi cheeks are bright red.

"Don't you dare look at me with that innocent face.  I've seen your drawings!"

Yoongi is shocked.  She knew his little secret.

 


	14. Let You Down

[">Better Now]()

** "You taught me precious secrets **

** of a true love **

** You wanted nothing **

** You came out in front **

** When I was hiding **

** but now I'm so much better" **

"Yoongi!"  Jennie called as Yoongi hurried down the ladder.

"Where is he going?"  Tae said looking up from his book.

"Home, I suppose, leave him alone," Jennie replied with a frown.

"But why Jennie?  What happened?"

"Nothing!"

"Jennie, tell me.  He was doing so much better.  I don't think you understand.  He's been like a hermit for years, depressed and lonely.  I don't want him back to that.  What if he does something to himself?"

"Has he hurt himself before?"  Jennie was scared now.  "I'm sorry, Tae.  I messed up. I accused him of looking at my panties.  He got shy and ran away."

"I think the reason he came out of hiding is thanks to you.  He obviously has feelings for you."

"And you don't seem to care anymore."

"Of course I do!  I love you!" They stared at each other for a bit and Jennie was the first to look away.

"I'll talk to him, okay?"

Lisa got up and came over to Jennie, "why did Yoongi leave?"

"I think he got embarrassed," Jennie said looking away.

"I'll go find him," Tae said leaving.  

Lisa and Jungkook gave each other a concerned look.  Lisa started to put her notebook back in her bag.  "I guess I'll go now," she said disappointedly.

Jungkook noticed she looked a little sad.  "Wait, let me walk you home!" Jungkook said searching her eyes.

"But, you are already home,"  Lisa said with a little smirk.

"I don't mind,"  Jungkook said with a charming smile that disarmed her.

"Okay," she said, "I don't think it's me that Yoongi likes," she said glancing at Jennie who was lost in her thoughts.

Jungkook just shrugged as he picked up his stuff. "Come on, let's go."

"Bye, Jennie," her friend said but Jennie didn't hear.  "Earth to Jennie!"

Jennie looked at her friend that was frowning at her clutching her little backpack. "You're leaving?"

"He's taking me home. Are you coming?"

"No, I'll stay here and wait for Taehyung."

"Okay, call me when you get home.  You need to tell me what's going on." 

Jennie pressed her lips into a line looking at both of them and Jungkook shrugged.

When Jungkook returned to his house a while later, he noticed there was still a light on in the treehouse.  We went up to turn it off.  He was surprised to find Jennie still there with her cheeks wet with tears.  It was the last thing Jungkook expected and he felt awkward intruding on her like this.  Still, she was part of his little band of friends so he asked her, "are you okay?"

Jennie nodded her head but with a frown on her face.

"Come, let me take you home."

When Jennie stood up, Jungkook put his arms around her to comfort his friend.  "Don't worry.  Tae will find him.  Yoongi will be alright."

"Tae hasn't found him.  He didn't go home."

"He's probably hiding somewhere till Tae leaves."

"You think so?"

"Yes, that's what he would do.  Did you try calling him?"

"He won't answer.  Will you call him?" She said in a small voice.

"Sure, he took out his phone and called Yoongi."

When Yoongi didn't answer they decided to walk to his house to see if Taehyung was still there.

Tae waited on Yoongi's front porch and got up when Yoongi's aunt got home.  

"Hello," she said cheerily, "are you looking for Yoongi?"

"Yes, but he won't answer the door."

"I'll go see if he's here.  Yoongi!"  She called out to him.

Tae waited by the door until the aunt came back.  "He's sleeping.  Come back tomorrow, okay?"

Tae smiled glad his friend was home but he knew it was unlikely that Yoongi was asleep.  He just didn't want to see him.

Yoongi's aunt went back into the room.  She sat on his bed and rubbed his back as Yoongi cried himself to sleep. The floor was littered with torn drawings of Jennie.

 


	15. Broken Over You

The next day, Yoongi woke up to the mess he had made in his room.  He started to cry when he saw Jennie's pretty face all crumpled.  He was feeling sorry for himself again and ignored all the calls and texts he received from his best friends.  He was so embarrassed about Jennie calling him out on looking up her skirt.  He needed a little time to get over it, but that wasn't the only reason he was upset.  Every time he saw Jennie with Tae, he made it clear that Jennie was his and Yoongi couldn't stand it.  He wanted her to be his.  He was so upset that he had ripped all his drawings of her in frustration.  He was ashamed of the way he had drawn her and the fact that she had seen it was really embarrassing.

But Jennie wanted him to be okay as quickly as possible so she decided to go to his house. It took all of her resolve to knock on the door and was greeted by Yoongi's aunt. She was a pretty lady that looked like an older female version of Yoongi. "Is Yoongi home?" She asked with a shaky voice full of nerves.

Instead of inviting her in, Yoongi's aunt came outside and gestured for Jennie to sit at the picnic table. "Ma'am?" Jennie gulped nervously.

"Don't be scared miss. I just wanted to talk to you," she smiled. "Yoongi was very upset yesterday which led to him destroy one of his drawing pads which I noticed had mostly renderings of your pretty face. Can I assume you two may be more than just friends? You don't have to answer that. I know it can be complicated but what I wanted to say is please don't play with his heart. For a young person, he has had to deal with more than most and it's been an uphill battle getting over the worst of his depression.

"I understand and I don't want to hurt him. It wasn't my intention..." Jennie hurriedly said in a shaky voice.  "I really need to talk to him, please.  Ask him if he'll see me."

  


Yoongi's aunt went back inside to talk to him leaving Jennie to wait.

"Yoongi, your friend Jennie is here.  She wants to talk to you."

"No, I can't!"

Yoongi felt like he was holding his breath waiting for his aunt to say something.  She walked over to him and held his hand in hers.  She often let him have his way so he wouldn't be more upset but she realized that we need to get upset in order to grow and face things.  Sometimes you just need to deal with it and the sooner the better.  So she spoke to him softly but firmly.

"Yoongi, sometimes people hurt us unintentionally.  Give her a chance to explain."

"She didn't do anything.  It's me that's embarrassed."

"Well then, this is your chance to make it right."

Yoongi looked up at her face.  He looked so vulnerable that his aunt stroked his soft hair reassuring him that everything will turn out okay. Yoongi tried his best at a feeble little smile and nodded yes.  After a long pause, he said, "Can you tell her to come to my room?"

"Okay, sweetheart."

Yoongi picked up the drawings and shoved them in a drawer.

 


	16. Like A Beat

Jennie went into Yoongi's room for the second time since they had met.  She found his shyness so cute when his sweet eyes could not meet hers and the touch of pink on his cheeks.  

"I'm sorry for intruding it's just ... I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"No, I'm sorry for what I did.  Will you forgive me?"

"Of course, Yoongi, I was embarrassed by what my friend said but I wasn't mad at you.  I need you like a heart needs a beat."  Jennie smiled at his surprised face. "Can I give you a hug?"

Yoongi stood up and Jennie wrapped her arms around him.  Their hearts beat wildly in their chests at the touching moment. Yoongi stared into her eyes, his eyes dropping to her tempting lips as he bit his own.  "Can I kiss you?" He asked.

Jennie answered his question by uniting their lips in a gentle kiss. "This is wrong, but I want you so much, baby."  Jennie just loved the feel of Yoongi's lips against her own.  It felt so right.

They continued to kiss the room getting warmer with their forbidden love. Yoongi pulled away leaving her wanting the feel of his lips back on hers. "It's Christmas Eve and I couldn't ask for a better present than to have you in my arms."

"You know what I would like for Christmas, besides you, of course?" She said with a cheesy grin.

"No, what?"  Yoongi's serious face was perfectly cute.

"I want you to draw me."

"Oh!" He said his perfect pink lips making a little 'o'.

He smiled but said, "I need to buy drawing paper, but I would love to do that, especially since I destroyed all the drawings I made of you."

"Okay, we should go do that before your windows get all fogged up.  You are just too hot, mister."

Yoongi looked flustered again by her words.  "Wait here, I want to get your present."  Jennie stood by the door and watched him walk into the living room and retrieve a little box poised cutely on the Christmas tree.  Her heart just melting at his cute little waddle.

"Aww, thank you!" 

"Open it."

Jennie bit her lip as she looked at the dainty heart necklace as delicate as his heart and it brought a lump to her throat. 

"It's beautiful!  Thank you, Yoongi.  Will you put it on me?"  She lifted her hair as Yoongi stood behind her bringing the necklace around her neck.  After he fastened it his lips brushed upon her neck giving her a tingly feeling down her spine.  Jennie looked down at the lovely gift holding it between her fingers.  Their lips met again breaking away only to gaze in each other's eyes.  "Lisa's going to hate me," she said under her breath.

"And Tae is going to hate me."

 


	17. Listen to Your Heart

Yoongi wanting to fulfill Jennie's wish asks her to go with him to buy the drawing paper before the stores close on Christmas Eve.  They head out happily because they are together.  Yoongi is all gums and pink cheeks. Jennie burst out laughing about something Yoongi has said joining her gummy smile to the mix.  From a distance, Taehyung watches them with a dejected sadness in his eyes. He wonders if his jealousy is reading too much into this scene but he can't help but come to the conclusion that his girl and his best friend are falling in love.  

Taehyung hurries across the street and calls out to them. 

"Hey, wait, guys!"

"Hello, Tae!" They both pause and wait for Tae to catch up to them. 

"There you are Jennie, I've been calling you."

"Oh, sorry, my phone must be on silent."

"You are such a good friend giving your full attention to Yoongi."

Jennie looks at him with wide eyes wondering if he's being sarcastic.  She feels guilty and her hands are shaking. "What?"

"Your mom says you left the house early this morning.  Have you been together this whole time?"

"Yes,"  Jennie says meeting the challenge in his eyes. "I was worried about him and came to see if he was alright."

"And are you alright?" He says turning to Yoongi that only nodded.

"Alright then, since everything is good, I'll leave you two to enjoy yourselves."

"You're not coming?" Jennie asked. "We're going to the store."

"I don't want to be a third wheel,"  Tae answered with a fake smile.

"Yoongi, could you go on your own.  I think I need to talk to Tae."

Yoongi looks at Tae but Taehyung can't meet his eyes.  He turns sadly and walks away, unsure of what he should do.  Yoongi can't help but wonder if she is going to break up with Tae.

They walk to Tae's house together neither of them speaking. Jennie finally breaks the silence and says what Tae dreaded to hear.

"You have every right to be jealous and angry with me."

"Jennie, stop! Please don't break up with me at Christmas."  

Her cheeks turn red.  She feels she's been caught with her hand in the cookie jar and it's best to come clean. "I'm so sorry."

"Let me give you your present."

"Tae, No. I don't want to play with your heart.  I can't pretend anymore."

"Please, don't say anything else.  You don't need to say what I already know."

Jennie stayed silent for a while.  She really didn't want to hurt him.  She reached for his hand and held it gently as she stared at his eyes.

"What do you want from me?"  She finally asked.

"I just want more time.  I feel like I'll never get over you."

"But, you will."

"Don't say that!  It sounds so final.  Like there is no more us."

"I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to fall in love with him."

Tae sucked in his breath like he had been hit in the gut.  "How long have you known?"

"I don't know because part of me still loves you." 

His eyes dart to hers that are brimming with tears.   He hopes her words are true.  If she still loves him, there is still a chance.  "Then stay with me for a little longer. Tell me you love me even if it's a lie."

"No.  I need to be true to myself.  Rip you from my heart like a spent bandage.  You should do the same.  Playing this game will only make it hurt more."

"I prefer the pain to being numb.  Loving you is the best thing I've ever done.  You were so good to me.  You made me feel so loved.  Don't take that away."

"I didn't know you felt that way."

"I do.  Maybe you just have a crush on him cause he's vulnerable and cute but that's not real love."

"Maybe you're right. I don't know.  I feel like I need some time by myself.  I need to go."

"Won't you stay for dinner?" Tae asked.

"No, my family is waiting for me. I have to go.  Please enjoy this time with your family.  Don't be sad Tae. Part of me will always love you. No one can take the memories we have together."

"The thing is ... only you can give me the feeling I love."

Jennie walks out but not before she gives him a hug.  She puts on her jacket as the temperature is going down with the sun.  She walks slowly down the familiar hill towards her house like she's done so many times.  But this time it's different.  It's like she is leaving him behind and it was making her very sad.  His voice was replaying in her mind repeating the sweet things he had said.  Their relationship had been special.  Was it a mistake to leave it behind?   But, how could she ignore the way Yoongi made her feel.  Ever since he popped into her life she could not stop thinking about him.  It was Yoongi she longed to touch, to kiss, to hold.  Even when they sat together with their friends around, their gazes had collided and she knew.  When she saw the flower at her doorstep, she knew.  When she saw his cute face looking up at the stars, she knew and even when she looked down at him with open mouth and red cheeks as he looked up her skirt.  She knew! It was Yoongi all along.  

 


	18. It Was Always You

Light snow started to fall on this special Christmas Eve.  Yoongi raised his eyes to the darkening sky and the little flakes fell on his face like a sweet kiss.  It was the first snow of the season and he so longed to share it with Jennie.  It was special.  Without thinking his feet took him to the front of her house with the holiday twinkle lights on the windows.  Would she be there or is she still with Tae?  We sure had fun. He thought and smiled.  He still felt a tingle where her soft hands had touched him. The time had flown while I was with her yet it had felt so peaceful.  Only you can make me feel excited and peaceful at the same time.  He knew they belonged together.  He walked up to her door just when he was about to knock he heard her voice. 

"Yoongi!"  She ran up the path nearly slipping crashing into his arms with a happy giggle.  "I'm so glad you're here," she said looking up at his eyes as she pulled away.  She smiled putting her hands together to catch the first snow.  Yoongi looked at the pretty flakes accumulating there.  They looked at each other with so much love in their eyes. Jennie twirled around in the magical light between day and night.

Jennie opened the front door and called out to her family to join them.  "Mom, dad!  Come out it's snowing!

Her parents came outside quickly and hugged.  Her dad twirled her mom and they kissed in front of them.  It was very romantic and sweet.

"It's so beautiful," Jennie said to Yoongi. "Let's take a picture together."

Yoongi took out his phone and took pictures of them.  Her parents were in their own little world just staring into each other's eyes perhaps remembering their first snow together. Yoongi took her hand and squeezed it lovingly.  

"Jennie," he said.

"What?"

He looked into her eyes and said, "Will you stay with me forever."

"Of course, ... I love you, Yoongi," she said smiling with tears in her eyes.

 Yoongi took her in his arms under the stars, in front of her house, and her parents, he kissed her and he knew she was his cause it felt so right.

Once they were back inside Yoongi had to ask her, "What happened with Tae?"

"We broke up. I told him I love you."

"What did he say?"

Jennie just shook her head indicating she didn't want to talk about it.  She didn't want to tell him that Tae thought their love isn't real.  Then she remembered something.  "Come, I haven't given you your present."

Yoongi followed her to the Christmas Tree.  Jennie searched through the presents looking for a  box wrapped in that paper they had bought together.  She sat on the edge of the sofa with a grin on her face waiting for him to open it.

Yoongi saw his name written on the label and unwrapped the gift.  When he saw the bracelet he had picked out his little mouth made an 'o' of realization that he had picked his own gift.  Underneath the gift was the red heart she had cut out of the paper.  Yoongi smiled when he saw it cause that was a while ago and yet even then she wanted him to know she cared about him in a subtle way.  He took the little heart out of the box gently almost like it was even more special than the gift.  Watching him made Jennie love him even more cause he was such a tender-hearted person.  He then noticed there was writing behind it. Jennie had written. 'I love you.'  His eyes darted to her questioningly. 

"Was this for me?"

Jennie wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered in his ear.  "Of course, darling.  It's always been you.  I'm so happy at this moment cause I finally get to be with you."  Yoongi's arms enveloped her lifting her by the waist till their noses touched. "I had fallen for you even then."

"I love you so much!" he said, punctuating it with a lingering kiss with their bodies pressed against each other.  Jennie ran her fingers through his hair returning the kiss, nibbling on his bottom lip neither of them hearing her parents returning to the room till they heard someone loudly clear their throat.  They separated both red to the roots.

"Isn't love grand." Jennie's mom said to her husband that stood wordlessly shocked.  He nodded taking a lead from his wife and offering them the hot chocolate from the tray he held.

"There's nothing better, love.  You still give me butterflies."

 


End file.
